


The Places We Won't Walk

by Squidsy24



Category: Broadchurch, Gallowglass (TV 1993), Takin' Over the Asylum
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Best Friends, Drunkenness, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Needs A Hug, Gen, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Music, Nobody is Going To Date, References to Depression, Skateboarding, Suicidal Thoughts, listen to the songs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:55:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26677030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Squidsy24/pseuds/Squidsy24
Summary: Joe arrives at an Asylum where he meets someone who will change him for the better
Relationships: Campbell Bain & Joe (Gallowglass), Joe (Gallowglass) & Ellie Miller
Comments: 25
Kudos: 12





	1. He Made Me Smile

**Author's Note:**

> This is all pre-written I will post every other day and I am lowkey proud of this.  
> Most suicide references are in the last two and they are very VERY brief
> 
> Also, you don't really need to know the shows to like this I think.

“So Joe, do you know why you're here?” 

“Yes”

“Good, you will be here for 3 months. We will evaluate you once a week and if by month 3 you are not deemed fit to go back into society we will keep you here. Understand?’

“Yes”

“Isabelle will show you your room now”

~~~  
Joe and the woman walked down a long hallway passing by various people mumbling to themselves or each other. None of them at a glance fit the term loonie but aside from bitten nails and sores on his lips, you wouldn’t think Joe belonged here either.

“Your with Mr. Campbell Bain who is.” Isabelle then checked her watch. “Well, you will hear what he is like in about 3 minutes he runs the radio station in the hospital. You two should get along fine. There is an adjustment period so it may take a couple of days.” She tried to give him his blanket and pillow but his backpack was in his hand. Joe had to throw the bag over his shoulder and gave a quick wiggle to adjust to the weight. She handed him the items and opened the door.

Half the room was stacked with records in crates, had posters on the walls with a guitar case and a dresser filled with clothes, the other side was bare. “ Campbell has been here for 3 years. I think he is getting out in about 4 months though if I remember his birthday right. Okay so his show will be on for the next hour you can hear it in the main area if you want but I recommend you get settled first. If you need anything hospital related ask an orderly if you need anything outside the hospital ask Eddie he helps with Campbell's show, I promise I won't tell.” Isabelle then left him in the room alone.

Joe flopped on the empty bed, hurting his back in the process. He scrubbed his face down and let out a groan 

It took Joe all of 10 minutes to put away his things. He only had a couple of outfits and basics when it came to hygiene. However he did have a single personal item, his skateboard got him away from a lot of people in his brief time on the streets. He left his room after a quick break from people and saw a commotion down the hallway. There was a large group of people gathered around a small room dancing to the song “Rescue Me” by Fontella Bass. Of course, Joe didn’t know that but the boy in the booth said that after the song concluded.

“Now fellow Loons I must leave you with my friend Eddie. I got a new roomie today, and there he is now just outside the booth. Give a Big Loonie welcome to JOE!” Campbell said. He then quickly ripped off his headphones as Eddie tried to find another song to play, he wasn’t expecting to be brought back on so abruptly.

Joe was greeted with an engulfing hug of curiosity by the famous Campbell Bain himself “ Welcome to the bin Joe, dinner is in 15 minutes and if we hurry we can get the good jello so come on mate” Campbell said as he wrapped an arm around his shoulder guiding him out of the crowd.

Joe had always been an anxious person by nature so being called out in front of strangers was a fear. Suffice to say he was silent for the duration of Campbell’s insider tour. Eventually, Campbell noticed “ why so quiet? Am I too much I’ve been told that by… A lot of people. You see getting to know the one and only Campbell Bain is a process few have succeeded in and all those who have, have enjoyed it greatly”

Campbell directed Joe toward a bench just outside the asylum in the courtyard. Once Joe sat down Campbell sat on the arm facing inward at Joe. “ No, it's not you, just lot to process with everything ya know,” Joe said watching a butterfly flutter in the small garden that an older gentleman was working on.

Campbell was toying with his sweatshirt sleeve when he promised “ gets easier, a little bit every day. Believe it or not, I’m not always this manic. Manic depressive me. Sad days you just gotta remember the good, like screaming songs always makes me smile. Have you ever shouted the lyrics to Blue Suede Shoes while dancing on a counter, sure the aftermath wasn't fun but doing it.” He smiled brightly and made a gesture with his hands, “wonderful! So whatcha in for” 

Joe’s smile started to fade back “ I’ll tell you another time Campbell if that's alright,” he said looking down. Joe’s eyes alone said a thousand words that even a toddler would pick up on. Campbell moved to sit on the actual bench “ I get it.” he checked his watch “Okay 3 minutes til dinner lets go get that jello”. He teased with a light punch on the arm.

~~~

“YOU CAN SKATE! I’VE NEVER SKATED IN MY LIFE” the younger man exclaimed. He grabbed Joe’s skateboard and toyed with the wheels. Joe chuckled “ yeah got it about a year ago I’ll have to take you out on a trip one day. Now I have had a long day so I’m gonna journal and hit the hay.”

The two slept soundly that night, Joe thankful for a mattress despite the quality and Campbell was happy that his new roomie was gonna stick around for 3 months. 

\---

JOURNAL 

September 28th, 2016  
The first day at this place and I think I fit pretty well. Can’t judge a book by its cover, well unless that book doesn't have a cover then I guess you could, besides the point. Campbell seems cool things could be worse I suppose, was told rumors of the 5th floor and at least here we get jello and decent freedoms. Today was better than the last, which is a start, it's been better for a while and I’m waiting for that to end. I know it will get bad again and I don’t know if I will survive again. It was only through luck the last two times if you could even call the aftermath of the first one good. What was it that Ellie said, “find the difference in a day”. Well, today I meet Campbell and I smiled more than I have in the last 3 months.  
-JOE  
~Fin~


	2. Am I Broken?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One month in and a new side if Campbell is shown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst is among us to ready yourself

“So one month in, according to charts you're doing better, what are your thoughts on that?”

“Could be worse I suppose I guess the chart is right I feel at least a little better”

“Well, that's jolly, sorry that we had to do this so early today I have to take my little one to the doctor tonight.”

“It's no problem. Can I go? Campbell needs help at the station today, Eddie brought new records.”

~~~  
Joe walked into the small space that had a large crate of records on the main stool, Rosalie in her own space with Eddie watching from a distance thinking of a list for the show. “Where’s Campbell?” Joe questioned, his session was an hour long and Campbell was usually awake by this point especially on pancake day. “ Haven’t seen him today think he is in his room” Eddie said trying to get more ink out of his pen. Joe simply hummed and walked out of the room. 

Joe wandered the hospital for about 20 minutes, checking every one of Campbell’s favorite spots. Eventually, Joe realized he was still in his PJ’s, and should probably change. When he entered the room he saw the same sleeping figure in the bed to the left. “ I’m not hungry, can you just go,” the figure said in Campbell’s voice but the body and tone was not like his usual self. Joe walked over to Campbell’s bed “Campbell? Are you ok?” he asked already knowing that he most definitely wasn’t. Campbell sniffled “ Yeah Yeah just, I'm tired”. Joe knew what tired meant, he was tired for years. 

~~~

At first glance, you wouldn’t see it, but Campbell’s eyes were reddened and the sleeves of his hoodie were more damp than usual. It was the first time he left his room for the past day and a half the nurses delivered him food and Joe left him to his own devices. 

The occasion for him to leave was that his dad was there to check on him. Joe kept the boy company while he himself waited for his adopted sister. 

The two each held their own conversations until Joe overheard Campbell's father snap “ Nobody wants a broken loonie who didn’t finish high school as a radio host. Give up kid and prepare yourself for a life in fast food.” The father then left the table and Campbell quickly got up and left to go back to their shared room. 

Joe wasn’t even listening to Tilly in the first place so he didn’t care when he interjected “ Hey it was great seeing you sis I just gotta go, a friend needs me”. Before she could respond he was gone.

Joe arrived in the room to see Campbell sitting on the ground with his knees to his chest and head in his arms, he was crying. He sat next to the boy grabbing the blanket off his bed and wrapping it around him. The two sat in silence and once Campbell realized he wasn’t gonna leave he spoke up “ you think I’m broken, Joe? I know I’m not normal but I could still have a life outside this place, right? Maybe it's just another silly dream, I really had hope that the world would accept me but maybe dad’s right and I am just a broken loon who won't get very far. I mean I could barely even get out of bed for that. My ups are too high and my lows are rock bottom.” Campbell started crying again. Joe rubbed his back and said “ Campbell, nobody in this world isn’t broken. And yeah people like us have it tougher, but doesn’t that make us better, cause you're gonna get that job at the station you're gonna prove him wrong cause your Campbell Bain, you started a station from the ground, yeah your heads a little messed up but your still here and that's wonderful. You're an extraordinary person to know Campbell, and despite how low you get you to get back up, get back at it, and do wonderful little Campbell things. Your Fathers an Arse and if you ask me Arses shouldn’t talk, maybe toot their own horn but.” at the joke Campbell laughed. “Oh thank god I haven’t heard you laugh in days it feels like. That was bloody wonderful” 

~~~

JOURNAL

October 30th, 2016

I made Campbell laugh and enjoy little things for a second. I played him “Lazy Sunday” by Small Faces and forced him to dance with me. Is it weird to say I missed his smile it's like getting used to something for so long and forgetting that it can in fact go and then it does and it's just a shock? I think I was right. I am broken but I will be fine cause making Campbell feel better made me feel better. So I then gave Fred my Jello and he smiled too. Seeing the joy bubble up on someone's face it feels good. I feel like before people just dreaded seeing me, my “parents”, my “sister”, S. I guess it's just nice to feel like I'm doing something useful to others. I'm gonna keep doing that, I think it will be good.   
~JOE

~fin~


	3. Stir Crazy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joe hasn't gotten to leave for a while. Eddie suggests something fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good times with sone drunken angst and very nearly poetry. 
> 
> Content warning is here for *mentioned suicide / thoughts of suicide* it is in the past, just recollection

“One more month Joe. How are you feeling about that”

“I think that people call it getting ‘stir crazy’. And I can’t leave cause Til got arrested, again. So I just want outta here. Maybe Eddie and I can do something I don’t know”

“Well, sorry but after Eddie took Campbell out and he got drunk we don’t let him take people places. I think you can hold on for another month. Your doing very well progress wise”

"So only one more? "  
~~~  
Joe was tapping his pencil on his sketchbook very loudly in the corner of the booth. “Restless are we?” Eddie prompts Joe whilst he was trying to work on the record player. Joe put down his book and pen and spoke “ Sorry just Tilly usually gets me out of here once a week, she got arrested First of November and I have been stuck here since” 

Eddie reached a record from the top shelf and tried to play it. The sound didn’t go through the hospital speakers but rather the smaller ones that only filled the room with music. 'We Gotta Get Out Of This Place' was playing softly. The man then looked at Joe “Ask Campbell to help you get out. He and Fergus ran away so often he once did it while sleepwalking. I’ll leave some ciders in the bush out the back for you boys to enjoy yourself. So when are you planning on going?”

~~~  
Campbell was ahead, his backpack strapped tightly to his shoulders. Joe was following his skateboard under his arm. The two had taken the stairwell down to the second floor where Macey’s room door was left ajar. Macey was a bedridden woman who was only lucid once a month. Patients used her window to leave so often that she stopped yelling when they arrived, not like people came anymore. After Joe stepped onto the window below Campbell had already collected the ciders. 

The boys ran off toward the local park which was 20 minutes away by walking. “ so you wanna learn to skate you say” Joe said holding out his beat-up skateboard to the other. Campbell grabbed it quickly and placed it on the ground stepping on it quickly and falling shortly after.

Campbell could not skate that much was for certain. After coming to that realization due to falling 28 times He decided to show Joe the hidden gem of their location. If you walked 10 minutes west then 20 feet north you would come to a large rock that had a lake underneath it. Campbell had been here many times so he knew, for the most part, it was safe, probably.

Joe reached into Campbell’s bag to grab the sandwiches when he laughed and said “ 4 things of Jello Campbell. You don’t think that is excessive’. Campbell dramatically crossed his arms and Objected “I have never, IN MY LIFE, been excessive and I resent that statement. Now come on lets drink then we can jump on in”. Joe chuckled to himself “Fine fine I should tell you though I am a sad drunk at the start so fair warning”. The boys sat cross-legged on the rocks and ate their sandwiches washing them down with cinder.

~~~

“And like platonically Campbell I fecking lOvE you okay. I know I don’t say it,” Joe said through over the top sobs his head laying in Campbell’s lap “ but I really do okay and I need you to know that.” Joe sat up and reached for the backpack to eat his second jello while reaching down he felt Campbell’s hoodie only there was something hard in it. When Joe grabbed the full parcel he saw a bottle of Jack Daniels that was half empty. “Woah when did you get this one Camp!”, Joe then unscrewed the top and took a swig. Campbell reached for the bottle back and also drank before he spoke, “Got it from an old friend, Fergus,” the tone in his voice then dropped “ he uh died 8 months ago suicide.” Campbell started to tear up. Joe then looked at the moon above and murmured “ I almost did that”. Campbell reached for Joe’s hand reassuring him without words “ I tried it twice, the first time was when I was first on the streets after my first treatment. A man saved me that time Sandor, I really did love him. But as luck would turn out he was a psycho so love is a funny thing I suppose. The second was about 3 months ago, Sandor um ‘kicked the bucket on his own terms’ I think the cop said and I thought I was fine for a while but then it all hit at once before I tried though this woman grabbed me, Ellie her name was. She was on vacation and was about to head back home gave me her number and brought me to the asylum. Told me “ Joe someday it will be good, and you won’t believe it, but you gotta buck up and find the difference in a day. No two days are the same and if it seems like it change it, eat with your left hand or take a different route. And when you get out of this place you will have a home with me in Broadchurch till you can get on your feet. I want you to succeed kid, I want you to survive.”

Joe was crying softly and rubbed his eyes. Campbell gave him a hug from behind. “Thank you, for surviving. And I’m sorry.” Joe shook his head “Don’t say that. I didn’t even know you. Everyone is so bloody sorry and It- It doesn’t do anything. It doesn’t help to be fecking pitied and I know you didn’t mean that to come off as such its just second nature to every human to feel they are at fault for others.” Joe grabbed at a rock and threw it into the lake, it skipped twice. Joe kicked out his legs and Campbell just engulfed him with his whole body holding him down in an effort to calm him. The man finally broke down entirely and Campbell didn’t let go.

The two didn’t part for 30 minutes, it was at that time Joe reached for the bottle and Campbell let him out of the hug. ”Okay what was it you said ‘ scream the lyrics to songs when you’re feeling down’ well.” Joe stood up and bellowed the words to “Twist and Shout” by The Beetles.

With the power drunken decisions and poor life choices, the boys found themselves in the lake below in their underwear, shivering. It was the end of November and the temperature was about 8 degrees celsius. They then re-dressed and headed back toward the park.

~~~

“Come on let me try it again I almost had it last time. I can do it” Campbell pleaded to Joe. Joe just shook his head and handed him the skateboard. He fell off very quickly, instigating a booming laugh from the two of them.

There was a voice from one of the houses in the park shouting “ GET HOME YOU TEENS IT’S 2 AM PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP!” The boys looked at one another and ran off toward the asylum.

Walking down a street with their arms wrapped around each other Campbell singing “ BANNNNNND ONNNN THE RUNN” followed by Joe screaming “ BANNNND ONNN THE RUNNN!” Then the two in sync shouted, “ THE JAILER MAN AND SAILOR SAM WERE SEARCHING EVERYONEEEEEE!” The duo reached the asylum the trip taking about double the amount it did before.

They walked in through the front door. Joe whisper yelled, “Campbell shhhhhh we need to be quiet or we’re gonna get in TROUBLE.” Campbell smacked Joe’s shoulder, “stop whining its sleepy time we just need to find our room. Where is it again?”. Isabelle appeared from one of the first floor rooms she said nothing but grabbed their hands and guided them to their room. “Go to bed, and drink water guys” her voice wasn’t angry if anything she was amused by them. 

JOURNAL  
November 30th, 2016  
I had never gotten drunk with a friend before. Reckless decisions are far more fun with an audience and breakdowns are better when someone can be there for you. I think I’ll ask Campbell to come with me when I get out of this place in a month, he gets out 3 weeks after me so I can get a job and maybe an apartment by that point. He has a mock interview for a station next week I think he will get it. And if not I rang up Ellie and there is a station near Broadchurch. it’s a cute beach town we could have a fresh start cause Campbell has made quite the impression here. I think in the end I just want my life to be shared with someone not owed. Campbell helps with, that I reflect now on that short story or is it a poem, I don't know. I wrote it during those months with S. only I have revised it. 

The Places Untravelled

In my head there's a forest  
Lush, fruitful, and vibrant.   
Yet it holds a grand beast

I kept it untrodden by my feet  
Whilst the beast feasts  
In the mind untouched by soul

Nobody had wished to go  
For years that beast remained   
A faithful foe

A boy then walked into his path  
Music blareing, in thus silence  
The beast is there but quiet upon us

I doubt the beast will leave, but he has become more bearable.   
~Joe

~fin~


	4. What Now?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Campbell Arrives in Broadchurch

“So you were at that asylum for 3 months and you got better is what you’re saying. Why do you think so?”

“The people, you meet so many people that you wouldn’t in the real world”

“ yeah, you mention that one um. ‘Campbell Bain’ why was he special”

“ He listened and cared almost to a fault. He was also very enthusiastic, it was a kind of joy of the world you don’t see every day. It was infectious.”

~~~  
“ I think his train is a little late,” Ellie said to Joe who was holding a sign that said ‘CAMPBELL BAIN’ in bold letters. Joe started to lower the sign and look at Ellie “ He really needs a cellphone. Fraid he’ll wander off too often. Also found us an apartment it’s between Broadchurch and the next town over, which is where Campbell got his job so sure we both have to commute but I’ll be with my best mate so.” at this point Joe was facing Ellie who was smiling broadly. Joe’s brow furrowed and that's when Campbell leaped onto his back from behind.

“Onward stead!” Campbell shouted from Joe's back before he got off to give him a proper hug. 

~~~  
The group was gathered around Ellie’s table eating take away from the local Chinese place. “ So wait are you telling me this 67-year-old veteran only ate Jello and fried fish.” Ellie’s son, Tom asked. Campbell then said “ Yep it was a rare occasion you could get him to eat it with a sauce. I will probably still miss Fred. He told a good story when you could understand him.” Joe and Campbell shared a look and both sat up very straight and wiggled their shoulders as they said in very deep voices and odd hand gestures “ and Remember son, Never trust a man with two first names he is up to no good deeds.” The full table uproar with laughter.

~~~  
Ellie drove the boys to their new apartment. Joe had gone in the day before to make sure the lease was all set up and that it would be ready. Campbell looked at the place in awe as Joe discussed “ Its not a whole lot, but it’s bigger than our room. We have a small kitchen combine with a living room and two bedrooms with a bathroom attached between. And your Job better pay decent, being a barista can only get you so far.” Campbell shook his head wildly and went to the fridge. He came back with a cheese stick “ we’re gonna be fine you think?” he asked through bites. Joe smiled at the joy on Campbell’s face “I think so” he then went over to the record player by the front door and started playing “Everybody Wants To Rule The World” by Tears For Fears

~~~

JOURNAL  
January 1st, 2017 

Last year I opened the new year with a drink alone on the streets of London wanting my life to end. Early this morning I came into the new year dancing on a table singing Hound Dog with my best friend and the woman who saved my life. I wouldn’t be here without them showing me that the world isn’t all that bad.

New Years Resolution: Do more Good than Harm  
~Joe  
~fin~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading it means a lot. The ending is kinda a quite from my old english teacher I don't know if he stole it or not


End file.
